


(will probably soon have a soulmate related name but i literally saved this story as 'soulmate' and feel like it might actually need a better title)

by Ktxitx



Category: BTOB
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, for once i actually know what i am supposed to tag, i have always wanted to try this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-23 14:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17685503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ktxitx/pseuds/Ktxitx
Summary: Soulmate au!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I have always wanted to try out a soulmate story, I love the whole soulmate concept thing and wanted to write one, I did imagine my own soulmate au,like, the concept pooped out in my head and wouldn't get out, I read lots of soulmate prompts but they never seemed to fit with me, so I hope this isn't too messy.

Once, Changsub went to a shaman as a last resort to get answers to the source of his problem.

He got told that very rarely, soulmates meet in the same timeline, and that their minds tend to connect with each other, resulting in the two of them hearing each other’s , no matter the distance between them.

Seriously? Soulmates? What bullshit was that... Such a thing didn't exist... And timelines? What would that mean too?

Changsub had gone out, thinking he had wasted his money and time on useless stuff.

However, after multiples other researches, it appeared to be the closest thing to a plausible explanation.

It was about these dreams, he wanted to have them explained. It almost felt as if someone else's life had somehow ended up in his head. The dreams were somewhat blurry, as if they were memories that had gotten mixed up over time, and there was always that person, he never remembered his face well, it would fade away as soon as he woke up, but his voice stayed. It was always clear in Changsub's mind.

And want to know the weirdest part? That voice, he heard it when he was awake too.

Changsub had no remembrance of when it had started, maybe it had always been there. Sometimes, he heard that voice in his head. He had come to the conclusion that he only heard the voice when _it_ was feeling something strong. Usually, it influenced his mood. He had wondered if he didn't have some sort of personality disorder, but after numerous appointments with several psychiatrists, they had all come to the conclusion that he was perfectly fine mentally speaking.

But how could that be true? He heard a voice?

They couldn't explain that. Which was how he had ended up at the shaman's, who had started his weird story, with the creepy vibe coming from the candles that were the only light in the room. The shaman had talked about ancestral beliefs and seriously, there was a lot of questionable things in those, and in the shaman itself by the way… what a weird dude... even his name sounded fishy, Jung Ilhoon, this was a scammer's name, Changsub was sure of it!

Anyway, so Changsub had learned to live with it, and not to talk about it since it only awarded him with weird or worried gazes. He had gotten used to people thinking he was crazy and the other kids avoiding him back in school, and as an adult, he had learned how to fit in properly, working in a big firm, he had been slowly ascending from bottom to... right now he would say he was middle high, but he would get to the top someday!

Anyway, the most ridiculous about the voice thing, was that he literally just heard it. To be true, he might have tried summoning it various times, following the shaman’s instructions and no, it was the not about dancing naked next to a jar of frog’s eyes under the light of the descending full moon of the ninth month, he wouldn’t have actually done that. The shaman just told him to try establishing contact, it had not worked. He had tried answering, talking to it, neither had worked. It was all ridiculous when you thought of it.

That was some fucked up life he had, to put it in his own words on the matter…

=====

Yook Sungjae had never wanted to destroy his alarm ring more. After having turned it off, he stared at the ceiling for a while. He had never noticed the small stain on its far right, he sighed, he had been waiting for any motivation to come before going to take his shower, but ended up getting up anyway since it never did.

It was all because of that damn voice, he felt so gloomy these days, and had no idea why.

Last time he had heard anything it was: "Owww crap...", and ever since, he had felt gloomy.

He had always heard that voice from time to time in his head, but its affect on his mood had been slowly growing stronger as the years had gone by. He had no idea why though… it just did.

He had always known that it was someone else's thoughts he heard, and it wasn't normal, so he hardly ever talked about it, for obvious reasons...

However, he had established a few observations: first, he only heard it when that someone was having a strong emotion, whether it was happiness, sadness or even surprise, and passion. To be true, most of what Sungjae would hear at a certain time of his life, had had to do with either skateboarding, or music... Second, it wasn't something that happened regularly, he had figured it was spontaneous and completely out of control.

Third, it influenced his mood, and likes. Strongly. Like, very strongly. For example, he had ended up trying to learn skateboarding, which had been a huge fail and had resulted in a broken arm, worst is, that he didn’t even understand why he felt so attracted to the it...

And he had also come to the conclusion that either he had some sort of strange power, either that person heard his thoughts too, which he believed in more strongly. He often wondered what thoughts would cross over, if it really did. Because _his_ crossed over a lot more than Sungjae would like. At 13, he had found himself craving for alcohol, feeling like he was drunk, when he had barely drank any in his life, in front of his parents, at a family gathering (worst day of his life). He had later learned to control that, but it was recurring, basically whenever, Sungjae thought, _he_ was drinking. And that also led him to realize that _he_ was probably older than him.

He had never managed to explain why he heard that voice. He had searched through lots of books and had lost himself very far on the internet, only to find an old legend about soulmates and mind connecting that he had kept in a corner, though he didn't think it was actually true.

Sungjae ended up being late, he had taken too long to get up... He put on the first clean suit he found, why in the world had he forgotten about this important meeting he had, in now... about half an hour, he needed to run. And fast.

He only stopped at the coffee shop to get a hot, and strong, coffee. Caffeine was lacking in his system these days. Another of that damn voice habits he had taken: a strong love for coffee. No, not just love, addiction... He sighed, he had taken his coffee to go and had slowed down as he didn't want to spill it, accidents are quick to happen in a busy street.

Just as he was having these thoughts, a guy bumped into him and he spilled, his very hot, coffee all over him.

"HOT HOT HOT!!!" Were the only words he could think as he winced in pain.

=====

"HOT HOT HOT"

Changsub probably apologized to the guy around a hundred times, he couldn't explain his clumsiness, he had seen him, walking, and had randomly thought about how that guy was pretty good looking, and also somewhat familiar, which was weird because Changsub was pretty sure it was the first time he ever saw that person, and had been distracted by the voice chanting something about caffeine finally being there, which often happened at this hour of the day, and had made him come to the conclusion that the voice and him had at least that in common, wait, make it two, the voice liked singing too, and had forgotten to step aside, resulting in bumping into the good looking guy, spilling the latter’s coffee. 

The guy only cursed, not paying attention to Changsub’s attempts at apologizing, saying he was too late and ran away, throwing his now empty cup in a trash can on the way. Changsub was left there wondering what the hell was wrong with the guy, and it is only once the latter had long disappeared from his sight that he realized the guy had not voiced the curses.

Changsub had heard them, but all he had said out loud was that he was too late.

His heart stopped. Had he just... met the voice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading!!! Have a great day!  
> By the way, if you're wondering how Ilhoon ended up a shaman, just imagine him doing divination for anyone and you'll get it... lol, this is way too fitting of a character for him, I think he might have missed his true path.. jk lol...


	2. Chapter 2

"Did I just... meet the voice?"

Hum, no you didn't my friend, I am here and I didn't meet you... Sungjae thought as he entered his building, though he was holding his shirt far from his body, ready to quickly go look for another one in his locker, strongly hoping there was one in there, however, despite the coffee accident, he didn’t have time to care about that anyway, he needed to rush, he felt somewhat ecstatic, his presumptions were right, _he_ did hear Sungjae's thoughts too...

=====

\- I think I met the voice in my head!

Changsub said as soon as he entered, the shaman looked at him weirdly, apparently already feeling done with him:  
\- You think you _met_ the voice? - he said, lightening up some more candles, after quickly hiding his snack, because, as his mother would say "you don't eat in front of costumers"...  
\- You're the specialist, you should know better!  
\- You said you didn't believe me!  
\- What if I actually did?  
\- You said it was all bullshit!!  
\- Only idiots never change their minds! So, do you think I did?  
\- I don't know, it's just a legend...  
\- _Just a legend_? Then all you said last time...?  
\- You're not precisely my usual costumer... It's always, either superstitious old lady or people who want their fortune told on the love side. Not people who think they've met their soulmate.

Changsub snorted, the scammer aura was definitely there... He shook his head and sat down, ignoring the shaman's annoyed face:  
\- So, I bumped into a guy on the streets, and I swear, I heard him cursing in his head. He was polite outloud and cursing at me in his head.  
\- So... did you ask him if he was your voice?  
\- Well, I didn't have time to even realize it, he was already gone... - Changsub sighed.  
\- Hum... So what do you want from me?  
\- I don't know... I just wanted to share the information, you're the first person who came to my mind... So, there isn't anything else in that legend of yours?  
\- Hum... Let me call my grandma, she's better at this...

Changsub chuckled, this shaman really was something… He left an hour later, with nothing more than what he already knew, and an emptier wallet, feeling once again, like his money had been wasted.

=====

Sungjae sighed, he had no idea how so much work had accumulated for him. It was late, all he wanted to do was go home and the fact that _he_ had been drinking wasn't helping, Sungjae craved dinner and alcohol and couldn't focus at all. Why did _this guy_ like alcohol so much anyway? It had been years, yet the same old feeling always came back, also, now that he knew that _he_ heard his thoughts as well (unless there was some sort of chain and someone else heard his thoughts but he doubted it), he kept on wondering what could cross over... Probably not the huge boredom that came from all the paperwork he had left...

Sungjae sighed, trying to ignore that recurring craving-for-anything-to-eat feeling and focus so he could go home, but he wasn't that successful, the office was getting emptier and emptier as time went by. He only managed to finish it all after he heard (in his head) a huge: "I KNOW!" and then nothing, Sungjae was pretty sure _he_ had passed out and wondered why he had been drinking since so early anyway, but it's not like he could know, so he ended up deciding to just ignore the rest of the world. The saddest part is that once he really set his mind on his work, he was done in less than 45 minutes, stupid voice!

Once home, Sungjae looked for the old legend again, wondering whether he should look it up some more, he had always lowkey wanted to meet _him_ , but now, he was determined to, the scaring feeling of being perceived as a freak was gone and now all he felt was confidence, because, truthfully... who wouldn't like him?

He ended up taking an appointment with a random shaman, since the legend was like, ancestral and all, he should go see something close to a professional about it, shouldn't he?

So, a few days later, he entered a suspicious looking building, in a small creepy looking street, next to an old tailor shop that looked like it seriously needed some cleaning, and followed the indications that led him to an all candles lighted room, and a shaman, a guy shaman by the way, in the middle of appreciating a huge coffee, sitting on a cushion beside the small coffee table in the middle of the room, and seemed offended that someone, who, just by the way, was right on time for his appointment, was interrupting his 'me time'. Sungjae figured that trusting the Jung Ilhoon name on the website, thinking that it sounded like a nice guy's name, might not have been the best idea...

Ilhoon put his coffee aside because, as his mother would also say: no beverage in front of the clients, even water, and stood up, wondering what that guy wanted, he wasn't that used to, first, male costumers, second, young male costumer, third, young and good-looking male costumers, but anyway, Ilhoon welcomed him and invited him to sit, wondering whether he should already take out the love fortune gear since that was what most of the youngsters went here for, but the guy suddenly started talking:  
\- I am here because of something I found online.

Okay, maybe not love fortune, maybe money seeking then?

\- I found an old legend, and I think I might somehow be linked to it...

Oh no, Ilhoon thought. Not an old legend... That meant nothing good.

Sungjae took out the legend and put it on the table, Ilhoon glanced at it, and almost gasped as he immediately knew what legend it was from the first words. Ilhoon's eyebrows furrowed:  
\- Why do you think you're linked to it?

Sungjae thought this was probably a shitty shaman, he looked way too young anyway...

\- Hey, I know that look, I took over the family business young, I know, but I'm good at what I do! Now, tell me your story.

He seemed grumpy now... Sungjae shook his head, it was still a shaman, and he seemed to know the legend.

\- Well, I hear someone's thoughts. Not all the time, just some strong feelings, and I always have. After numerous researches, I found this legend, and it is the closest to my situation... You see, I can't communicate at all with him, but rec...  
\- So, it's a guy? How'd you know?  
\- Not that hard to figure out... So, as I was saying, I just hear some of his thoughts, and recently, he thought that he met "the voice"...  
\- Wait what?

Ilhoon's interest suddenly raised, it couldn't be... it would be too much... He had actually at first thought that this guy, his other costumer, Lee Changsub, was crazy but now, there was this guy... who might be crazy too. But the chances of the legend being true had just been multiplied by... a whole lot.

\- He thought he had met the voice, which I don't believe since, I don't know, I would have felt it too... wouldn't I?  
\- Unless you were busy thinking about a spilled hot coffee.  
\- What?

Maybe Ilhoon's tone had been a bit too dramatic, and maybe he shouldn't have let that sentence escape him, but what could he do, it was part of the job, and that Yook Sungjae guy looked bewildered.  
\- What hot coffee? When? How could you know? What do you know???

Ilhoon shook his head, he wasn't sure what to do. Destiny was involved, he couldn't go against it, could he? And he didn't want to reveal too much, as long as these two didn't know each other, they would keep coming here, and pay for appointments, so he shouldn't help them too fast...

\- What? Did I say something? - he acted all innocent, Ilhoon was a great actor after all.  
\- You said something about spilled coffee!?!  
\- Oh, I meant that I almost spilled my coffee earlier.

Ilhoon kind of felt bad, but business is business, he needed to live too...

Sungjae went out around an hour later, not having learnt much more, but convinced that shaman knew more than he was saying, which was incredibly frustrating.

Walking out, he brushed past a guy who looked out of place in the street, he was wearing a pink hat and looking at a crumbled map, instead of where he was going, Sungjae wondered what kind of activity he was going to do, the whole attire was weird, a net, the kind of net you use to catch butterflies, a very full looking backpack and he was wearing walking shoes.

Sungjae didn't know people stuffing butterflies, or at least catching them, under 70 still existed and was quite amazed to cross path with such a young one, though he didn't have time to catch his face, he just seemed young.

Sungjae shook his head, thinking that this world indeed is filled with weirdos, and also, he was thinking about getting some coffee, it had been a while. Maybe he could go to that cozy coffee place and plan out how he was going to manage meeting his "soulmate"...

=====

Changsub took off his hat entering the shaman's office:  
\- Oh no... you again? Why do you always come here? - Ilhoon was starting to think that guy either didn't have any social life, either really liked to trouble him in his snack time, always coming unannounced, right when Ilhoon was taking a break...  
\- I came here because, as you can see, I'm ready. I have a plan of the city here... - Changsub brandished his map, adding - And I will find him!  
\- You do know more than 10 million people live in this city right? - Ilhoon asked, an eyebrow raised, not sure how to interpret the determination burning in Changsub's eyes.  
\- I do. But I'm determined. And you can cut it in more than half: he is neither a woman or a child. He was wearing a suit. That must be reducing it to maybe... 3 million? I actually have no idea how many people wear suits daily...  
\- Maybe you should try it out differently… - Ilhoon highly doubted running around the city in a suspicious looking outfit would help him in any way - And what's with the net anyway?  
\- It's been in my home for years, I have no idea why... I don't even know how you're supposed to use it actually... Now, I'll be on my way. Wish me luck...! Next time we meet, I'll definitely have found him!

Ilhoon watched him go, wondering how that would be possible, but then again, they had managed to cross path once, probably twice singe Yook Sungjae had walked out just minutes ago, so, why wouldn't they meet again? But still, the net was a bit much, wasn't it? Well, he seemed full of motivation, good for him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading!!!  
> Okay, this probably the longest two characters in my stories have taken to meet, it will be soon, but I kind of got carried away with shaman Ilhoon... we all know my weaknesses... 
> 
> By the way, time is flying by so fast, I can't believe we're already left with 4TOB, with Minhyuk gone, the average IQ must have fallen down by half if not more jk lol, Hyunsik is still there... okay no, Peniel is probably the actual only hope left... Sungjae must still be partying everywhere because of Changsub's departure then crying in a corner, then back to partying with Ilhoon and Peniel because they're all lowkey evil, meanwhile, Hyunsik has disappeared again in his magic studio for the next 6 months, rumors say we will only see him again around the time he will be enlisting and Ilhoon is still masterminding over how he will take over the world, what al I even saying? Anyway, I'm sure Minhyuk will do great and update us as soon as he can because he is a good child, now, have a great day folks, don't catch a cold!


	3. Chapter 3

It was getting late and Changsub felt like dying. He threw out his empty water bottle, he should call it a day, maybe soulmates were something that shouldn't be forced... His earlier motivation had gone, swept away by the cold breeze and now all he wanted was to be home. He had walked throughout the city, crossed circled on the parts of the city where he could most likely meet him, and blaming his blurry memory for not paying more attention to the guy's face, he still didn't even know his name, all he could clearly remember was that he was taller than him.

To put it short, he was never going to find him like that. He cursed his foolish self for even thinking about it, it was obvious walking around such a big city would be useless… Little by little, he lost all hope though he still found himself wandering the streets from time to time, trying to figure out a way to find him. And just as he was seriously considering giving up, around two weeks after he had met the voice, sitting by the river, feeling exhausted already when he had literally gone out of his apartment like, 10 minutes earlier, he saw him.

More precisely, he saw a young guy, walking awkwardly since he had all of his fishing gear in the hands and it was too much for one person to carry. At first, Changsub didn't pay much attention to him, but then, the dude dropped his phone, god knows how he had even managed to take it out of his pocket and he cursed (he was met with numerous glares from mothers watching over their children playing, not very far from him) and Changsub immediately recognized his voice. He couldn't believe he had not recognized him the first time they had crossed paths, like, it was obvious, plus he knew for a fact the voice liked fishing, that is the reason he had went to that precise part of the riverside today. He couldn't believe how much of a genius he had been for once.

====

Ilhoon sighed seeing who was coming in:  
\- You do know you're supposed to take an appointment and not randomly come here, right? You always do that...

He shook his head, not even bothering to put away his snack anymore, it was snack time, he was hungry. And wasn't like Changsub seemed to care, he sat down shaking his head:  
\- So. I found him.  
\- You did?

Ilhoon was genuinely surprised, not that he had found him, he knew it would happen someday, but that he had found him so fast, and he suspected more to the story, given how Changsub looked like he was about to die...

\- Yes... It was his voice I recognized... But it didn't go as planned... Well, I actually didn't _have_ any plan, but, you know, I had not thought about the fact that he really wouldn't recognize me _at all_... I really thought he would...  
\- Especially since your voice is way more recognizable than his... - Ilhoon agreed, thinking that maybe, he had overestimated that Yook Sungjae...  
\- Uh? - Changsub raised an eyebrow at Ilhoon who realized he had once more talked too fast, he wasn't supposed to have met the guy!!  
\- I mean, your voice is pretty unique... So I assumed his sounded... uh, less unique!  
\- Oh... Anyway, all we did was talking about fishing... I mean, he dropped his phone, so I went over, and picked it up for him, and we talked for a while because, well, I was in a good mood, but he only saw me as a random stranger and I couldn't just blurt out "Hey, by the way, you're the voice in my head, what's your name?", so I just let it flow...

Ilhoon sighed, at least they would keep on coming here for a while more.  
\- And after, what happened?  
\- I think he thought I was a scammer or something... Really, he took the first opportunity to flee from me, not that I was even keeping him from going, I asked if he liked fishing and he went on for what felt like eternity... Then he suddenly went away, saying his phone was ringing when it definitely wasn't, I'm not stupid, I picked it up, and it was turned off... I didn't even get to learn his name... Maybe I started too straightforwardly and he got startled, I said something about being glad I found him here... it must have triggered something...

Changsub let out a huge sigh, stealing some of Ilhoon's snack, to the latter utter horror by the way, but he didn't say anything as he could understand why he felt down.

\- But, are you really sure it's him? Maybe you got the wrong person?  
\- No... Stupidly taller than me... talks as if he owns the world, but secretly a cry baby, you should have seen his face when his phone fell down... Loves fishing more than anything... literally convinced he has a _spiritual_ connection with fishes... It's definitely him.

It did sound like Yook Sungjae, well, Ilhoon could only agree with the "talks as if he owns the world part" but it somehow felt like it was him, he was about to ask how he intended to find him again when Changsub added:  
\- The worst part is that it has been awfully quiet these days... I feel like something is wrong with him, but when I saw him, it was yesterday by the way, he looked perfectly fine, But, you know, I used to hear that song he sings in his head whenever he buys coffee, I can't hear it anymore, I used to hear him complaining about his boss giving out too many work and about the fact that one of his co-workers has been hitting on him regularly, which he finds uncomfortable since he is not interested, but I don't anymore... It feels... empty.

Ilhoon was starting to seriously consider looking more thoroughly into that legend, maybe he could actually help him if he did put his mind into it... Now that he knew it wasn't just some random crazy dude, he had gotten interested and, though he didn't want to loose costumers, his naturally kind nature was starting to take over, he sighed and stood up after Changsub had left (once again, he had just been telling him about his life, but he had been nice enough to pay for his time without Ilhoon having to ask him...) and went to the room next door and looked for the old book, the one he usually didn't bother to look for, it was so old it was really hard to read, but if Ilhoon could find anything, it would definitely be in it...

=====

Sungjae wasn't sure why, he couldn't get the guy from last time out of his head. He had thought he was, you know, those dudes who keep trying to bring you into whatever they are into, especially if you have money, but after all, they had only talked about fishing, he had just been surprised the guy had started actually talking to him, like, any stranger would have just given him back the phone, maybe telling him to be more careful and just went their way after, but no, the guy had started talking to him so he had thought that maybe something was fishy. But after he had, cowardly, went away as soon as he could because this all seemed untrustworthy, though now that he thought back about it, he was the one to have rambled on his fishing gear, so now he felt guilty, the guy had probably just wanted to be nice, but there had gone Sungjae's crazy brain, always quick to jump to dumb scenarios. Anyway, what he had realized after was that something felt oddly familiar about the guy and he couldn't pinpoint what exactly. It felt as if it wasn't the first time they met, like somehow, they already knew each other... Sungjae shook his head, nonsense, he had a great memory, the possibility crossed his mind too, but he put it aside, he was convinced that if he met his 'soulmate' he would recognize him, or at least feel something...

That is when it struck him, as he was thinking that he hadn't heard _him_ in a while. The voice. OF COURSE THE VOICE. What an idiot he was, if course he had felt something, that familiar feeling.

Sungjae couldn't believe he had not recognized that voice immediately, just... how dumb could he be?

Sungjae grabbed his coat and walked out if his place, before realizing that there was no way he could find him again just like that... And questions flooded in his head, had he recognized him? If he had, why hadn't he said anything? By the way, he looked nothing like Sungjae had imagined, but it's not like he cared, he was too thrilled, he still walked around the neighborhood, it seemed they both enjoyed fishing, as soon as he would be able to, he would go back to the fishing spot and try to find him...

But Sungjae never did, or rather never needed to, because the next morning, he got out of his building and his eyes grew wide seeing who was there. _Him_. It was him. How in the world he had found Sungjae, that he had no idea, but his heart was racing, as if he had just gotten down from a roller coaster ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading!! Have a great day!! I tried finishing the chapter with suspense lol, anyway, see you soon!!


	4. Chapter 4

Sungjae ripped open the beer pack, opening a can and taking a long, frustrated, gulp from it. He had never thoughts things would go this way.

It was all because of him. Lee Changsub. It had started the day he had found him outside of his building, not long after realizing he was none other than the voice in his head. At the time, he had found him brave for coming to find him like that, and though their first meeting, well not first, but anyway, though it had been awkward, it had been quite alright, they had met after work at a coffee shop, to kind of catch up, it was weird how they knew, yet didn’t know, each other. In a way, they knew both too much and not enough. It was awkward.

Then again, it had gone fine in the coffee shop, they had laughed at how they didn’t imagine each other like that at all, and lots of other details, like Changsub making fun of him because he finally understood why he was so obsessed with the number 6 and he wanted to meet his cat, he had laughed some more, finally understanding why it was called Sami, saying Sungjae was a weirdo. Sungjae had defended himself well, Changsub was a weird one too. That evening, he had somehow felt euphoric, they were getting along, it was going fine, and by the way, Changsub had managed to find him thanks to that shaman Sungjae had visited some time ago, apparently, Changsub was sort of a regular there. They started meeting regularly, and Sungjae loved it, Changsub was fun, he was nice and a cutie, he had that smile that Sungjae loved. It had went on for a few weeks, regularly meeting, often texting each other, sometimes calling. Sungjae felt happy in a way he had never felt before.

And what had made Sungjae so frustrated was when, Changsub had just, randomly blurted out:  
\- So, what are we supposed to do now?

Sungjae had raised an eyebrow at him wondering what was that supposed to mean.

\- I mean, we met and all that’s great, but, now what?

Sungjae had felt like something was shattering within him, he wasn’t sure what, suddenly, it was striking him. What was going to happen now? Was the connection going to last? What if Changsub ended up being completely different than how Sungjae had thought? Would all of that have been for nothing?

\- They always make love stories out of soulmates things, but it’s not like we’ve gotten that feeling...

That hurt. Sungjae had always thought of the voice as the nicest person ever, not someone who would reject him before he even started anything. And how could he just decide like that that Sungjae didn’t feel anything?

Because he did. And he felt lots of different emotions whenever Changsub came to his mind. Curiosity, will to please, heart fluttering thinking that he really had met him, but mostly scared, because he had always lived hearing his voice, he was afraid of what would happen if it wasn’t there suddenly. Changsub had told him that he had been hearing him less and less and Sungjae, who had not noticed any changes up till when Changusb had showed up that day, was afraid the same would happen to him. Soulmates are often described as two different beings that somehow connect, they meet and it all goes well. But for Sungjae, Changsub’s voice echoing in his mind had been a like a part of him. Call him crazy, but he doesn’t know how to live without it. He had never even thought of living without it.

So Changsub words had been like knives piercing through Sungjae, he had never asked for anything, yet there he was, putting distance between them when they hadn’t even had time to get close. Sungjae hated that.

He hadn’t commented anything, but had been cold throughout the evening, and the fact that Changsub was oblivious at how Sungjae was displeased with the situation was building up more frustration on the younger’s side.

Now he didn’t know how to face him, did the elder even like him? Maybe, after they had met, he had realized he would be just fine without Sungjae in his life, especially since he was rid of their link...

== == ==

Changsub couldn’t believe himself, he had gotten even more stupid than he used to be. He had been caught up in his insecurities and ended up saying things he not only didn’t think but also regretted highly.

Changsub had always been a loner, he had acquaintances, sure, but he had never really let anyone too close. He had tried though, but it just always felt like something was missing and he knew damn well what, the voice. In a way, he loved and hated it. But now that it was fading, by the way, the answer Ilhoon and him had found was that the connection faded away after the soulmates met. It didn’t satisfy Changsub, as he had told Ilhoon, ever since he heard it less, it was like it was leaving a void inside of him.

It was how he had realized that whether he liked it or not, Sungjae meant something in his life. He wasn’t sure what or why, but after that dinner, when he had stupidly hurt both Sungjae and himself and that the younger didn’t contact him for several days, he had come to realize that this had not been just about two minds connecting. Something lied there, deeper, something strong. How else could he explain how great he felt when he met with Sungjae?

But he knew why he had said those words, his coward self felt like he wasn’t good enough for Sungjae, the younger was so great, Changsub wondered if something had went wrong, how could they be soulmates? It didn’t make sense. What were the critters? Who had decided that they should be soulmates?

That is how he found himself at the shaman’s place again. He looked surprised to find him here:  
\- I thought you wouldn't come anymore, you were kind of mad that I didn’t tell you immediately that I had met your soul... What?  
\- I am just wondering, why do you think we got… how you call it? Linked?  
\- I have no idea, why?  
\- It’s just… some part of me feels like something went wrong and I’m not the one for him. You get what I mean?

Ilhoon shook his head no, answering:  
\- Things happen for a reason, you shouldn’t question it too much. It’s living in the moment that brings happiness, not over-thinking.

The shaman's words weighed on Changsub’s mind as he was walking home, he stopped a few steps away from his building, surprised to see a wild Sungjae there. The younger hadn’t contact him for days, and there he was, showing up randomly like that. Changsub felt weird, his heart was beating erratically from just seeing him in the distance, ‘not gotten that feeling’… who was he kidding? That feeling was somehow already there before he even met Sungjae…

The latter was looking down, he seemed to be staring intently at the ground.

\- Uh… Sungjae? Hi…!

Sungjae raised his head, blinking as he looked at Changsub in a way the latter wasn't sure how to interpret. 

\- Am I nothing to you? Really?

Okay, Sungjae was mad. As soon as he had seen Changsub, his eyes had lit up with some sort of rage, it was kind of scary. Maybe Changsub really should think more before talking, especially given the way his heart twitched just seeing him like that. But then, he suddenly recalled the kind of thoughts Sungjae usually had when really mad, and figured that if Sungjae was mad, he needed to run away to save his life, and right now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is frustrating... I intended to make this story an easy one where everything went well, but my love for unnecessary drama and twists got over me... hehehe... it actually ended up being like that because I got like... massively stuck for a while here... but I managed to start something else, that might turn into some fun but I'm not sure yet... anywayyyyyyyyyyy....  
> Thanks a lot for reading, have a great day!!!


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